My characters return (and yes they're still making my life difficult)

Howdy, folks! Serena here to guide you (or at least give the impression of guiding since I'm pretty clueless about this subject) through the wonderful world of character development. To start with-

The Protagonist, rising from the shadows: Hold it right there!

Ahhh! *cough* Um, I mean, hi, I knew you were there the whole time. Okay, bye. Now, readers, back to the subject-

Protagonist: Not so fast, amigo. I was walking past and couldn't help but overhear you mention... Character development. *scowls*

And by walking by, you mean lurking in the shadows for the past fifteen minutes?

The Antagonist: Pretty much.

Why didn't you tell me he was here?? Oh, nevermind. I have a post to write, and the Protagonist needs to go.

Protagonist: Like I said: Not so fast. I couldn't help but notice Miss Antagonist was already here, and you invited her. Also your eagerness to get me away suggests that you are indeed discussing character development. That is why I am here to stop it!

Antagonist: Yeah, you and what army?

Guysss, please don't start already. *sigh* Okay, Protagonist, I was talking with the Antagonist about character development. But I don't see what you don't like it so much! You've always enjoyed, you know... developing. As a character.

Protagonist: Yeah, maybe if I was actually DEVELOPING. But you seem to spell character development as S-U-F-F-E-R-I-N-G.

You're being dramatic.

Protagonist: Oh yeah?? Let's make a list, shall we? Broken bones. Concussions. Having to wait for half an hour at my favorite restaurant, only to discover they ran out of breadsticks!

So I hurt you three times. It wasn't that bad.

Protagonist: Was it? WAS IT? Do you know how far I walked for those breadsticks? Two blocks! That's ten minutes of my life I'll never get back. And don't even get me started on the burned house, fall from that cliff over the ocean, losing the love of my life at the hands of my mortal foe, tripping over my cat multiple times-

Antagonist: And that time when I put you in a cage and forced you to watch all the Ice Age movies on repeat.

Hey, whose side are you on??

Protagonist: Ah, yes. the Ice Age movies. Do you have any idea how many brain cells I lost through that five hour torment? *stares dramatically into the distance* Too many. And all for the sake of character development.

... Listen. Now that you mention it, I do put you through a lot of pain-

Protagonist: Ya think?

However! It really is all for the good of your character! Think about how you've grown as a person as you face and overcome each trial, moving on to be a better, stronger hero!

Antagonist: I don't know how dramatically bursting into tears after the breadstick thing counts as overcoming...

*glares*

Antagonist: Buuut I see your point! It really is for the good of the book, Protagonist.

Protagonist: You just enjoy getting to make me cry.

Antagonist: Let it never be said that's not my favorite pastime. Haha, hey, remember the time where I stole your favorite pair of socks and roasted them over a bonfir-

ANYWAY. The point is that when you suffer, you grow. And when you grow, I get some really, really good emotional dialogue scenes out of it. So how about you go back to whatever it was you were doing while Antagonist and I get back to hurti- er, helping you develop.

Protagonist: Absolutely not. You two are discussing ways to make my life miserable. Well, I won't let you! So there!

What if I bribe you with a cupcake?

Protagonist: Tempting, but no.

Drat.

Antagonist: Aw, it's not that bad, Protagonist! Look, our author actually has some pretty cool things planned at for you, with a couple of broken bones sprinkled here and there.

Protagonist: HA! I knew it! I knew- Wait, did you say 'cool things'?

Antagonist: Yep! Like your new sword, and outfit change, and sidekick-

ANTAGONIST!

Antagonist: Whoops.

Protagonist: A sidekick? I get a sidekick? When? Where? How? Will they do my laundry?

*sigh* It was going to be a surprise in chapter fifty-two-

Protagonist: Which you're years away from writing, but go on.

Right. But I thought that since there's some major pain- uh, painfully happy things coming your way with character development, I thought you could use a friend *mumbles under breath* And then they get killed off to further said development..

Protagonist: What'd you say?

Nothing. Anyway, what do you think? Wanna meet him now?

Protagonist: Now? Sure!

Okay.. Get ready to meet....

Welp, looks like we're out of time for today's post! Let me know if you thought it was funny and how badly you desire part two! Until next time!

-Serena Stellington