To Read Or To Write: A Parody

Dear readers, this is a parody that I wrote a couple years ago for my literature class. I have revised it slightly since then. Now, do not get the impression that I think reading it is bad (far from it!!! Reading is AWESOME!!). However, if you can glean some truth from this hyperbolic parody, then please read on and enjoy!

To read or to write, that is the question.

Whether to enrich my mind with

The stories of other men and women

And get lost wandering in another imagination,

Or to sit down and fashion my own.

To write is to create a world or characters

That I can fashion as I will.

My own imagination can take me places

Where other stories cannot.

But to write also means to labor in anguish

Over names, places, character arcs,

Emotions, relationships, villains, and

Simply figuring out, “what do I write next?”

For who would bear the boring chapters,

The irritating characters, the stories

That could have ended beautifully but did not,

The times when the author worsens

A formerly good character,

A plot twist that thrusts a dagger into the heart,

Or the times when a beloved character unjustly with no good reason

Dies.

Who would bear these grievances

If we could resolve it by creating stories to suit us?

But alas, it is easier to pick up a book––

Wretched though it be––

Then to struggle and sweat making my own,

Chapter by chapter

Even if the end is perfection.

Thus writer’s block and writer’s laziness

Makes cowards of us all––that is, many of us––

And instead of writing great and wondrous tales

Many lose hope in their toil.

They creep back to their sofas,

And find themselves reading stories they cannot stand,

Crying over deaths and tragic sequels,

Thinking, “If I had written it…”

Desiring to be the author,

But too afraid, too tired to try again.

I thank Shakespeare’s Hamlet for giving me the inspiration, and I hope y’all enjoyed it! If not, I apologize for hurting your hearts.

Keep on writing and reading, people!

~Evelyn Knight